In Which
by Moon Witch '96
Summary: Drabble series. In which a series of misunderstandings and generation barriers make things difficult for a certain Captain. AU, basically ignores any movie beyond the Avengers. Please read and review.
1. In Which First Impressions Are Not The B

**In Which First Impressions Are Not The Best**

When Steve Rogers had first met Darcy Lewis, his first thought had been so this was a modern dame. It wasn't exactly a good one. She had come in with Doctor Jane Foster, looking bored and typing away on her cellular phone, chewing gum and a loud sounds blasting away her ear drums via tiny little speakers that usually never left her surly abused ears. She had looked around in vague interest to the communal floor of the Avenger's tower, before quickly returning to her phone, and then stuffing it in her back pocket when Tony lead the two woman over to be introduced, his smile exuberant as he and the two petite dames reached the coaches that for once the team were using.

The younger woman had popped out one of the little speakers, and gave a small wave to everyone of them even before Stark started naming them by their really names. She snarked at Tony when he made a vague comment of her... Curvacious figure, her hands landing akimbo on her hips. She made the crass billionaire laugh as they suddenly started to exchange verbal barbs, and it was obvious that the young woman, whom he still didn't know her name, was on par with Tony's type of humor. It didn't make him really eager to talk, but he found himself standing up to be introduction once the younger one of the woman had stopped verbally sparring with billionaire. Anything less than that would have shamed his mother after all.

"Captain Steve Rogers ma'ams."he had said, somewhat stiffly. The good Doctor had given him a vague smile, mumbling her name as she scribbled away in a leather bound journal.

Miss Darcy Lewis however had given him a once over, and smiled a smile that was all teeth. It was a little nerve wracking really, the way her dark blue eyes shone from behind her clunky glasses.

"Darcy Lewis, and I like you_ Kaptien_!"said the young woman, saluting, and he was very surprised to see that she did it correctly, something that most civilians didn't do. He wondered at the fake accent at the end, and was greeted with laughter from Clint.

"Was that a Star Trek reference?"asked the younger man, his blue eyes glittering.

Steve found himself frowning. Another popular culture thing that the archer had mentioned that he had too see when he had been confused over his and Stark's remarks over it a few weeks ago.

"Live long and prosper, dude." said the girl, grinning her fingers doing a strange peace sign.

"You are my new favorite person. After Pepper."said Tony, a grin coming up on his face as he did the sign as well.

"Status accepted. I expect a badge that says so."said the girl seriously. The billionaire laughed, and went off to do something else when his phone beeped.

When the girl turned to Natasha, she blinked, and started at her hair. The older woman gave the younger woman a glance over, from her chunky boots to the woolen sweater on her torso. She didn't smile, but there was a strange gleam in her emerald eyes.

"You are smoking hot, and I bet you could kick everyone's asses on a regular bases."said Darcy, grinning ear to ear as she went over to the older woman, crossing her arms as she started at her.

Natasha said nothing, and only raised a brow.

"You just made me proud to have lady parts, go you."she said firmly. Steve was surprised to find that the girl earned a small twitch of the stoic woman's lips at that.

When the girl moved over to Doc Bruce Banner, he winced, thinking that it would be oil on water. Her blue eyes however just looked at the Doc, not saying a word and her lips pursing slightly as the Doc looked back with nervous dark eyes. He was utterly shock when the girl just took one full look at him and embraced him. Everyone, including Doctor Foster looked shocked at the action.

"Darcy!"exclaimed the woman, looking up from her journal. The younger woman didn't say a word as she let go of the Doc, and walked over to her boss as if nothing had happened.

"Come on, I bet you ten bucks our rooms have hot tubs."said the woman, and both were lead away by JARVIS.

Neither of the four people in the room had much to say, the two master spied leaving almost as soon as the new arrivals did, and when Steve looked at the Doctor, he was surprised at his somewhat shocked look.

"I kinda needed that."said the Doc, slowly, before he got up suddenly and ran off to his lab. 

Steve's over all impression was that the two woman would screw up the dynamic of the house. Or at least, the younger one would. He had no idea how right he was.


	2. In Which Age Is Shown

**In Which Age Is Shown**

Darcy Lewis was currently swinging her legs, bare of anything except for a silver of denim that she had proudly called daisy dukes. Her laughter was loud and with many snorts as she chattered excitedly with both Tony and the Doc, whom were working within the same space calmly for once and not blowing anything up for once. Her boss, Doctor Foster was mumbling on the other side of the bench, fixing the circuitry of one of her machines, while she slapped away Tony's 'helping' hand whenever it would wander over. Steve had come to ask a question, but it seemed as if the three scientist and their assistance were oblivious to the world beyond their spectrum of work.

"So, Superman versus the Hulk, who do you think would win?"she asked, calmly looking at her nails, chipping away at the bright green polish as she shuffled papers around with the other hand. Okay, so maybe they're spectrum moved past work.

The Doc looked up with a sort of bemused expression he wore often around the young dame.

"Hulk."said Tony without a thought, not even looking up from whatever he was tinkering with.

"Well, I counter with Superman."said Doctor Foster, raising a brow and not even looking up from her work as well.

"You've never been a room with the big guy, have you?"

"No, but I have read Superman. No offense Bruce, but he had unlimited power as long as the sun is out."

"None taken. Superman would crème me."replied the Doc, wryly, his mouth a sort of grin, but still seemingly uncomfortable.

"Okay, that's two for Superman, and one for the hulk." counted off the young woman, frowning.

"I say that the Hulk would win. All Superman can do is leap over buildings and pummel people. Hulk can do that and has the advantage of size."spoke up Steve, without really meaning too, thinking back to his old comic book collection.

Everyone started at him, as if they had just noticed him. Tony burst out laughing.

"What's the last issue you read?"he asked, chuckling. Steve straighten slightly at his superior tone.

"What does that have to do with anything?"he asked, frankly puzzled.

He ignored the way that Darcy was looking at him, obviously on the edge of laughter, lips pressed firmly together as if to hold it in.

"It's just a question Steve."said the Doc, soothingly.

"I think it was the World's Fair one?"

Silence met his statement.

"Hey Keptin, your age is showing."pipped up Darcy, a grin on her face, and Steve felt his face flush, and he stormed out.

He ignored how her laughter, so loud and unladylike echoed in his ears hours afterward.


	3. In Which A Fierce Battle Is Fought

**In Which A Fierce Battle Is Fought**

Steve Rogers really did not really now how to act around a dame. Let alone one that had insulted him. What was worst, it seemed that Darcy Lewis was oblivious to his very existence. Of course, most of her time was spent herding around the scientist of the building to where ever they were needed, so it was fair to say that her job was demanding enough that she had no time to bother with anyone but Jane Foster, Bruce Banner, and Tony Stark. Still, somehow, he always did catch her talking offhandedly to Clint or Natasha, or even talking shop with the lovely Ms. Potts. Really, the young woman talked to everyone who lived in the Avengers' Tower save for himself.

It didn't really bother him per say, in fact, he was relieved to not deal with the brash girl. But, still, he had to wonder why she would bother to ignore him in the first place. He didn't think he had insulted her in anyway, and as far as he knew, she had nothing against him. Yet, she still, she did not even look twice at him.

"Oh Shit!" with expert grace, Steve caught Darcy Lewis around the waist to prevent her from falling to certain death after she had attempted to climb the kitchen counter tops to get some pot or another from the top cabinet. It clattered to the ground.

Dark blue eyes blinked and Steve's did as well as they locked.

"Oh, thanks Keptin, saved my ass there."with more ease than he had thought possible, the young woman slipped out of his hold around her waist, landing with a spring in her step.

"Your Welcome Miss Lewis."he replied.

She grinned.

"None of that. Call me Darcy." with that, she grabbed the fallen pot, placed it on her head. She saluted to him, just like before, grinning even wider.

She then went off screaming at the top of her lungs, a toy gun proclaiming 'nerf' as her weapon, just as Tony came around the corner, his own 'nerf' gun in his arms. He was promptly ignored by the two supposed adults as they went on in a fierce battle.


	4. In Which Knitting Is Odd

**In Which Knitting Is Odd**

She was easily the most confusing person Steve Rogers had ever met. It wasn't that she was a very complicated person. The girl herself had described herself as three things; a glorified babysitter, sarcasm, and... A great rack... But, really, for such a simple person, the girl really did through him for a loop. Like now, he thought. She was knitting. Now, that wasn't strange in itself, he had known plenty of people who knit. No, it was the fact that she was knitting upside down, hanging from one of the rafters of the lab that confused him.

"Oh, Darcy, knitting again?"asked Doctor Foster, looking up from her work too rummaged through a box full of spare parts. She ignored the strange position her ex-intern was in.

"Yup."said the young dame, popping the 'p'.

The scientist looked at her for a fraction of second, and her brows furrowed. Her gaze was intense, and for such a small woman, she had a piercing stare. The fact that the young woman ignored her gaze only made it seem even more bizarre.

"Make me a new scarf would you? I like that color."said the older woman finally, and she went back to her work.

"Can do."

Steve decided the best course of action was to leave the equations the Doc had left him to give on his desk, and retreated as fast as he could. Maybe Darcy Lewis wasn't the only confusing person in the tower... And just maybe woman were really that strange.


	5. In Which A Spider Is Saved

**In Which A Spider Is Saved**

The first instance that Steve Rogers had felt anything other than bewildered dislike towards Darcy Lewis was the second she reached down and helped a tiny spider out of Tony's newspaper reach, running into the kitchen as he had a late night snack. She climbed easily and with scrambling movements onto the counter-tops, rubber and canvas shoes squeaking as she held the daddy long high above her head. Even with her meager height, Tony could not reach her up there. The seemingly crazed scientist scowled.

"Darce, get down here right now and let me kill it!"he begged, making whacking motions with his rolled up newspaper.

"NO!"

"Darce, I swear to God, your fired if you don't let me kill it now." threatened the billionare.

The younger woman scowled at him.

"Fire me then!"

With that grand proclamation, Tony huffed, and stormed out, mumbling about crazy P.A.s. Darcy waited half a minute before she sat down, Indian style on the counter-top. She opened her hand gently, hands opening with the grace and speed of a flower. A spider, legs long and thin, walked around between her hands. Steve stared at the woman in front of him, who once again, seemed to have not noticed that he existed.

"I shall dub thee, Keptin."she cooed softly to the delicate creature, before slipping off the counter-top, snatching a empty jam jar from the cabinets and leaving the room. Steve stared after her.

After a moment of appreciating her odd gentleness, he returned to his cereal. It wasn't until he was washing his bowl did it occur to him that she had named the spider after her preferred moniker of him. It was then that Steve felt the smallest, barely there, spark of respect towards Darcy Lewis. He was always one to root for the underdog, and in it seemed that Darcy was as well, even if it was something as simple as a spider's life.


	6. In Which Keptin Is A Devil-Monster

**In Which Keptin Is A Devil-Monster**

Keptin the spider had eventually found a home, a permanent one, at the Avenger's Tower. Despite many threats for squishing, Tony had backed off of Darcy Lewis' pet once Pepper Potts became involved. Many of the residents had found some semblance of affection for the spider that was constantly seen crawling around Darcy's hand. The tiny creature had even managed to get the affection of the deadly Black Widow, and Steve had caught her feeding him(or her) live flies. The only person that seemed to be to be less than pleased with the creature was the owner of eighty-five percent of the building.

"I swear to God Lewis if you don't put that damn bug in its cage than I will kill it by shoving it down the front of your shirt."bit out the irate man, eying Keptin as it crawled leisurely closer and closer to the 'his' side of the room.

The young woman simply rolled her eyes and coxed the spider onto her hand. Tony flinched at the movement, and Steve wondered if anyone would like the reports Pepper had sent him up with. No one seemed to, as the other two scientists in the room watched with amusement the billionaire and the ex-intern.

"You're afraid of spiders."said Darcy with a grin that would make the Cheshire cat proud. Tony glared.

"I'm not afraid of them. They simply should be eradicated off the face of the earth."

Darcy Lewis only smiled, and stepped closer to the older man, shoving the hand with Keptin on it straight into his face. Tony Stark yelped, and promptly toppled over with a bewildered face, sending the circuitry flying around him.

"GET THAT DEVIL-MONSTER OUT OF MY FACE!"screeched the billionaire.

With that brilliant sentence, Steve couldn't help but let out a laugh. It was the hardest laugh he had done in what seemed like years, his whole body bent over, and his sides hurt. It felt good, especially with the accompanying laughter let out by a certain dame.


	7. In Which The Logic Of A Cuckoo Bird Is E

**In Which The Logic Of A Cuckoo Bird Is Explained**

Now Darcy Lewis was, if anything, a rational girl. Sure, she might be cuckoo for coco puffs, but she was rational... To her own set of logic at least. And her logic stated to not bother people who were clearly disturbed by her loca-ness. Not frustrated nor exasperated, but disturbed by it. When she had first met Captain Steve Rogers, she had known from the start, no matter how much she liked the man herself, that she was not liked by him, and that he was disturbed by her. She could read people, it was a gift that had served her well in both annoying other people and understanding the geniuses she worked with daily. She might not be on par with them, but she at least could understand them on a level that would keep them in line..

She also knew that she would be nothing but a burden on the man that had kicked so much Nazi-ass, someone she had idolized since she was a child, who, without knowing, had saved her great-grandfather's life. Without him, she literally would not be there, so she did not want to antagonize the guy. She felt it to be her patriotic, and familial duty to leave the guy alone.

However, living in the same building as the guy made it near impossible to miss him... She swore, every time she turned the man was behind her, asking one of her scientists a question, or talking shop with the resident spies, or even getting into an argument over something silly like ethics with Tony. Now, she didn't go out of her way to avoid him, but at the same time she felt it was nearly impossible to not be around him. The man was a serious ninja at the silent approach...

Speaking of seeing him everywhere... Darcy put back a sigh at the sight of Steve Rogers in her kitchen. It wasn't her kitchen, not by an legal standards, but it was the one in which she cooked(a sacred act) and ate(an even more sacred act). So she felt it was her's. The fact that many people came in both irritated her and made her wish for a private kitchenette. Her eyes frozen at the sight of something that made her want to cry out in horror.

"I swear to God Clint, you did not just eat the last of the Coco Puffs."

Said Clint Barton looked up, eyes wide, mouth full of a spoon full of her favorite cereal. He looked like a chipmunk she thought with a pissed off amusement, eyes narrowing. Now, Darcy was a mellow kind of chick... Unless you messed with her food..

"No."he said, mumbling, mouth still full of _her cereal._ Steve was on the other side of the table, blinking at the exchanged, and she wished that the current fight about to breakout would not happen in front of her hero.

But, it was his fault for choosing to eat in the same kitchen as her coco puffs. It wasn't as if the tower was devoid of different kitchens.

"Ten seconds to run Hawkeye."she hissed, stalking forward. The master archer didn't need to be told twice.

He ran, out of the room as if the hounds of hell were on his heels. Darcy only smirked, and calmly plopped down in the seat that had been so occupied before. She picked up the spoon Clint had so kindly dropped in his escape, and ate a spoonful of chocolatey goodness.

"Was that really necessary for a bowl of cereal?"asked the Captain, face incredulous, and slight annoyance confusion leaking into his voice. Darcy couldn't resist.

"What can I say Keptin, I'm cuckoo for coco puffs."


	8. In Which Jane Gets Her Sexy On

**In Which Jane Gets Her Sexy On**

Steve stared at what was happening in front of him with fascination. Now, it was a horror filled fascination, but fascination nonetheless. Her singing was horrible, off key, but happy as she danced a top the lab's counter tops. Her hips shimmed, her feet tapped, and her hair swayed with her graceful, but drunk movements. The scientists, who, incidentally she was suppose to take care of, and prevent from doing such movements, were laughing and singing along, just as drunk. The only sober one was Doc Bruce Banner who was looking at the dancing girl with amusement.

"Tony?"he asked as he watched the billionaire join the girl on the tabletop.

"Tony."replied the man, shaking his head with more amusement.

Steve sighed slightly as he watched both Tony and Darcy strutted over, their hips shaking, comically in Tony's case. She reached out a hand, and crooned out to him to join him. For a brief second, if he squinted his eyes, he thought she could see as a great singer of his time, hair high and lips tinted red... And then she blew a raspberry, eyes crossing as she rocked backwards with laughter, the drunken billionaire catching her before she fell on her backside.

"We've made a break through on the bifrost. Tony brought out the booze."hiccuped Jane Foster, smiling gently at him, her brown eyes sparkling. Steve smiled at her, pleased at the thought of the woman getting her prince back, so to speak.

"AND JANE'S GOING TO GET HER SEXY ON!"cried out the ex-intern, jumping up to smoother kisses on her blushing boss. But not before thrusting her hips in a very suggestive manner.

Steve, dispute himself, blushed to the roots at her implications. And he felt regret that he had come to ask what on earth what Stark Wars was.


	9. In Which Steve Is Thankful

**In Which Steve Is Thankful**

The day Thor came back Steve Rogers learned two things. On, his embraces and cries of shield brothers were both elating and back braking. Two, after the alien man had kissed Doctor Foster senseless, his next step was not to greet the team, but instead pick up the ever grinning Darcy Lewis... Which meant one thing, his next greatest loyalty was to her. It was an odd thought, and Steve wondered just how this girl could get so many powerful people to just...Drawn to her.

She was good at care taking, that much he could see. Hell, even Nick Fury had nothing on her ability to manipulate the people in her care, and most of the time he found a bewildered Doc eating or sitting watching TV with her, wondering, just as Steve, why the hell he wasn't alone. Often he was shocked to see Tony Stark sleeping on the coach while she read a book calmly to the side. Hell, Jane Foster, for such a small woman was fiercely stubborn, more so than even Tony and the Doc combined... And the fact that she could make the woman stop her from her science to any degree was frightening.

And then came the rest of the team... Natasha and Clint just simply... He couldn't quite explain it. They fit with the former intern. They weren't the best of friends really, but she could read the spies and navigate them in a way that they didn't resent. It was no secret now to him as he watched Thor hug both the Doctor Foster and her into a enormous group embrace that Darcy Lewis was a sort of a lynch pin to the team. She may not have anything to do with him, but...

If she kept the rest of his team from either killing each other and in a relative healthy state, Steve Rogers could only really be thankful.


	10. In Which Pepper Potts Is A Saint

**In Which Pepper Potts Is A Saint**

It was official to Steve. Tony Stark was insane. He watched as the grown man paraded around in makeup, full smokey eye, with bright red lips that contrasted with his bread horribly. He stumbled around in a pair of heels, his bright gold dress. He batted his long, artificial lashes, and puckered his lips at him, and Steve froze.

"Come around here often solider boy?"he said, leaning against the wall, trying to smile sultry, but coming off pained.

"I..."he tried to speak, but really, he had no words to whatever the hell was occurring in front of him.

"I need a big strong man like you to give me some loving."he said, and winked. Steve stepped back eyes wide and frankly terrified and concerned.

"Stark are you drunk?!" he asked, half pleading, half annoyed.

"Drunk on you baby."

A shocked gasped echoed around the room, and both the men turned to see Darcy Lewis and Pepper Potts staring at them. Pepper looked composed and lifted her brows. Darcy looked horrified.

"Oh my God you did it. Oh my God."said the young woman, backing away. Looking at Steve aghast as if it was all her fault.

"You promised me when I'd dress in drag and flirted with Mr. Pole-In-Ass that you would kill the monster you keep as a pet. Now kill it."he said firmly, crossing his arms.

Pepper gave a long suffering sigh, and Darcy still stared at her Boss as if he had grown two heads. To Steve it felt as if he had at least six.

"I never said that seriously! And I'm _NOT KILLING_ Keptin because you're a immature idiot."hissed the handler, and with an apologetic look shot towards him, she stormed out.

"JUST KILL IT ALREADY!"called out Tony, running after her, his heels clicking loudly against the marble floors.

Steve decided then and there that he could never unsee that scene. And he looked at Pepper Potts in both awe and pity. Any woman that could handle that man was a saint and a force of nature. She looked at him, and something in her calm, slivery eyes seemed to agree with him.

"I'm having you cannonized."he said, and with that he walked out, intent on watching hours of television to kill his brain cells and forget that had ever happened.


End file.
